healing/health

Feeling unmotivated lately? You’re not alone…

A number of my friends and clients have turned up sick and/or unmotivated lately. These are not slackers, but successful women (and the occasional man) who are suddenly, though temporarily incapacitated (the flu, a broken leg), or uncharacteristically lazy all of a sudden. A few are on overwhelm after months or years of doing too much, and just can’t seem to get going right now. Most of them are energetically sensitive, as well.They all seem to feel guilty about their lack of ‘get up and go’, too. This makes it worse, of course, because the guilt ties them up in knots of self-doubt, and sucks their energy so it can’t go into healing.  Even worse, they don’t want to admit it to anyone, so each of them thinks she’s alone in feeling this way.

When one person says something to me, it’s about that person. When 2 people say it, well, maybe it’s a coincidence. When 3 or 4 or 10 say it, it’s a pattern. Well, folks, this is a pattern. It’s not just me noticing the pattern, either – 2 of my healer friends have noticed the same pattern in their friends and clients, as well.

What’s going on?

I don’t know for sure, but I’d like to offer 2 hypotheses:

  1. Part of your energy is going towards changing society on the inner planes. Remember, we are all one, along with the planet, and so when things change, we all have to change as a system. Think of a mobile here — if you tap one piece, all the others rearrange in space. (For more on this, listen to my interview of Roger Nelson about the Gaia Project, here or here in iTunes.) Sometimes, mild illnesses serve a larger purpose, whether it’s personal, like giving you time to re-evaluate, or global, like helping the earth evolve.
  2. You are acting out of learned helplessness. If you try and try and try, and nothing comes of your efforts, you give up. This has been demonstrated even in rats. Given the stacked nature of the deck in today’s economy, I suspect many people are here.  (See this “60 Minutes” story for examples. )

I actually think most of the ones I’m seeing are the first kind, and I have to acknowledge that the second kind are probably legion as well.

Here’s the point: if you are feeling unmotivated lately, please know it is not completely you — and at least stop beating yourself up about it. This will free up some energy for you to heal, and ultimately to get your motivation back.

If you are type 1 for lack of motivation, please know, this will pass, and your motivation will return at the appropriate time. If you are type 2, then it’s time to remember this NLP precept: If what you are doing isn’t working, do anything different.

(Call me at 888-4-HOLLIS, which is 888-446-5547, if you want help looking at your motivation issues.

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Put Off Procrastinating!

Last week, I filed for a copyright on a training course I finished a while back. (It’s called Coaching Your Client to a Successful Close, and it teaches basic coaching techniques to real estate brokers and agents. as part of the required 45 hours you need to renew your CA agent or broker license every 4 years). I procrastinated filing for the copyright for a couple of months, which is not really like me, only to discover that it took under an hour, and only $35.  What a waste of all the emotional energy involved in procrastination — the weight, the dread, the self-judgment!And some problems have a way of getting bigger if you procrastinate them. A small plumbing leak, dealt with immediately, is no big deal. But if you don’t deal with it immediately, it can cause a mold infestation, or the warping of your floor, or worse.

This got me to thinking about procrastination — why we do it, and when. There seem to be 4 reasons to put something off:

  1. Not knowing how to do it
  2. Being overwhelmed
  3. Expecting a bad outcome
  4. Having higher priorities on other things

Let’s take these in turn.

Not knowing how to do something – Yes, it’s scary all right. You have no idea how to begin.You don’t even know what you don’t know. This thing looks HUGE.

There really is no cure for this one, except to start. Start by asking questions, or googling anything you can think of that might be related. Then follow wherever the trail leads you. I had no idea how to do a copyright. Was I going to need an attorney? How expensive was this going to be? Terrifying.

Information has a way of showing up when you need it, though. I got an email list notice for a free telesiminar with a copyright attorney. The attorney said you could do it yourself (sigh of relief) and recommended her own book, of course. So I bought the book, which said you should go to www.copyright.gov.

On copyright.gov, there was an ebook explaining the procedure (not all that helpful) — and instructions on the website as to how to do it. Basically, answer a few questions, pay your $35, and then upload your file. That’s it!

Being overwhelmed – There are a few curesfor this one:

  • Chunk it down – There’s an old saying, “The journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step.” And so it is with projects — they can all be broken down into a number of steps. Any one step should not overwhelm you. If it does, it’s not really one step! Break it down into even smaller parts, till each one feels manageable.
  • Get help – No, you can’t do everything yourself. Lately, I’ve been having huge technical problems because various versions of the software programs I use don’t play well together. I can’t figure this out myself — so yesterday alone, I spent 6 1/2 hours on the phone with tech support from Microsoft and Apple. As this seems excessive, I’m considering finding someone who can do it with a little less involvement on my part.
  • Pace yourself – You can’t do it all at once, either. Choose one step, preferably what seems like it should be first, and do that. Don’t expect yourself to do all the steps in a particular time frame. You may not be in control of all the timing — things take as long as they take, not your idea of how long they should take.

Expecting a bad outcome – Maybe you dread doing something, so you put it off. That dread is a part of you expecting something bad to happen when you take action. What is it that this part of you is expecting? When you’ve identified the expected problem, you can then identify what you can do to ensure that what you expect doesn’t happen.

Let’s say you need to change an appointment with someone, but you dread doing it. Here’s where it’s important to check inside. Why do you dread it? When you check inside yourself, you may discover that part of you is afraid of offending the other person, or afraid that if you ask for the change, you’ll never get an appointment at all. When you realize this, perhaps you’ll think of things you can do to short circuit the problem, like asking on the phone, instead of by email. And you’ll remember that sooner is a much better time to solve this particular problem than later.

Having higher priorities on other things - This is not really procrastination, but rather the realization that you can’t actually do everything at once, and some things are more important than others. If you’ve relegated a particular job to a lower priority, then stop calling it procrastination, and stop beating yourself up for ignoring the task!

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Scientists Prove DNA Can Be Reprogrammed by Words and Frequencies | Wake Up World

There is some really intriguing info in here –

- DNA can be reprogrammed by voice
- Our DNA can be used for hypercommunication (telepathy, etc.)
- At least some of what we think of as starcraft are created by our own consciousness

Unfortunately, the research was all written/published in Russian. My Russian is not good enough to know how accurate this interpretation is.

Scientists Prove DNA Can Be Reprogrammed by Words and Frequencies | Wake Up World

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Are You Making These Relationship Mistakes?

Gina, a former student of mine, now friend, is newly single after a 25 year marriage. She is capable, energetic, intelligent, caring, and verysensitive energetically.Gina married her high school sweetheart at 19, got her nursing degree, began working as a nurse and eventually had a daughter. Somewhere along the way, the bloom fell off the rose of her marriage. It was nothing horrible, she wasn’t abused or anything, but after her daughter left for college, she decided it was time to move on.She really had no experience in the dating world, and signed up for match.com with high hopes. And it worked! The first guy she met was an  engineer, both smart, funny, and what’s more, she was really attracted to him. She slept with him very quickly, and enjoyed that a lot, too. Unfortunately, she discovered that he was an emotional mess, and she needed to take care of him emotionally. She wasn’t sure if it was worth it, and backed off. Then she began to feel these odd pains in her lower back.

Enter guy #2 (not the second one she met, but the second with whom she got involved).  Also smart, funny, with a great job as an attorney, he was an outdoorsman, and took her on many adventures. Again, she slept with him early on, felt quite close to him and was providing emotional support. But he eventually got so depressed, so enmeshed in his divorce settlement and custody battle that he needed too much from her, out of all proportion to what he was giving, and she moved on. However, he would visit her in her dreams, and occasionally, lying in bed late at night, she’d have the sense that he was lying there beside her. Further, she began having these odd pains in her lower abdomen.

Several months later, she met guy #3. She said he wasn’t really her type (but still smart, funny, and with a job he loved as a manufacturing supervisor). She slept with him, too, even though he was still seeing his ex-wife off and on. She began to get attached to him, finding more things right with him — if only he’d stop playing pushme-pullyou games. He’d somehow become her type, and as she felt that, she began to have this odd ache in her heart, along with a vague fatigue.

What was going on?

Gina had slept with each of these men. Good sex (and she reported that  it was!) releases oxytocin, the hormone of connection. So she felt connected to each of them.

She’s a nurse, so it is her job to take care of people. She’d carried this over into her personal life. Ever the helper, she had unconsciously offered her help to each of these somewhat needy guys. And they were taking advantage of it!

When we connect with people (actually with animals and even plants, too), we form energetic cords between us. Healthy cords run from an energy center in one person to the same center in someone else. The cord most easily felt and recognized runs from your heart center to someone else’s. Healthy cords can also run from, your sexual center to another’s sexual center, or from your third eye to theirs, for example.

Gina had formed these energetic connections. When she backed off a relationship, though, she forgot to cut the cords between her and the guy, which meant that he could still connect to her energetically and suck her energy.

I taught her to cut these cords, which she did. She’d feel relief for a little while, and then the pains would begin again. Why?

Each man, cut off from a source of energy/healing which he’d come to expect, would unconsciously feel the cutting of the cord — and set it up all over again!

Gina had not only to cut the cords, but also needed to protect herself energetically so that the cords wouldn’t reappear. When she set energetic boundaries, that is, protected herself energetically, as she cut the cords, they didn’t reappear — and she felt much better.

In sum, then, the relationship mistakes are:

  1. Sleeping with someone before you really know what you’re getting into
  2. Forgetting to cut the energetic cords between you and another when a relationship ends
  3. Neglecting to set energetic boundaries between you and another so that they can suck your energy even after the relationship is over

If you want help learning how to cut cords or set energetic boundaries, call me at 888-4-HOLLIS (888-446-5547) or send me an email at hollis@888-4-hollis.com.

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

On Busyness

It seems an article of faith in our more, better, faster culture that being busy is good (busyness is next to godliness?). People practically brag about being overbooked, and how much they have to accomplish, as if this somehow makes them more valuable as people. I don’t think it makes them more valuable, and I’m really not so sure busyness is good.This comes from my personal experience. I have been really busy lately, not just with clients and writing this blog, sending out my newsletter and doing my radio show, which you all see, but also starting a new online business with a partner, and managing another small business I own. I feel kind of guilty all the time, because I’m not 100% on top of everything, and I can’t deliver everything to everyone simultaneously. And then there are all the things I want to do, but don’t have to do — enjoy the earth, hang out with friends, help some people I believe in with their projects. A fair percentage of my available attention units are simply taken up with constantly re-evaluating and shifting priorities.

Using those attention units to figure out what to do next precludes using them to reflect, to learn from what just happened. How do you tease out all the lessons from a situation if you don’t have time to think about it? If you’re making a stew, and it tastes flat, and you gulp it down, all you notice is that it’s not too good. It takes time and attention to actually notice what you’re eating, to figure out that it needs more salt, and more of some herb, and less fat, perhaps. Or maybe you should have added the herbs as you sauteed the meat, rather than just during the simmering. But if you’re so busy that you have to chomp on it while you’re driving to your next appointment, you’ll never notice. You won’t improve your cooking, and you’ll continue to make the same mistakes.

How do you get unbusy? Obviously, I’m no expert, since I’m having this predicament at the moment myself. Instead, here is Brig. General Rhonda Cornum, as quoted in Flourish, by Martin Seligman:

“Prioritize.
“A.
“B.
“C.
“Discard C.”

How do you know what is an A, a B or a C?

Think of it this way — there are two dimensions: importance and urgency.

Important    Not Important
———————————-
Urgent             |       A        |            B?        |
|————|——————|
Not Urgent      |        B       |           C           |
———————————-

A – Urgent and Important – There’s a humongous fire in the neighborhood. Drop everything, pack up and get ready to evacuate NOW. (This one actually happened.)

B – Important but not Urgent – It’s May in CA, where it won’t rain till next October or November, and the house needs a new roof. Finding contractors, getting bids, calling all the references. selecting the roofer and scheduling the work all need to happen. They can be put on my to do list, and/or my calendar, and worked in with other things.

B – Urgent but Not Important – For me, this is the hard one. The cat is whining to be fed again. (I just fed him 3 hours ago.) He thinks it’s urgent. I know he’s not starving. But if I put it off too long, he may express his displeasure in ways I find atrocious — and which are both urgent an important to clean up (not to mention occasionally expensive.)

C- Not Urgent and Not Important – The back of the refrigerator needs cleaning. Not gonna happen — at least not until there’s pretty much nothing going on in my life. Do I get up from my work, or not?

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.