love

Tracy McMillan: Why You’re Not Married

Great article — very honest. And it explains in just a few words why women have to get to know a guy before they have sex:

Tracy McMillan: Why You’re Not Married

(Thanks, Kimi, for alerting me to this.)

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Love means… never having to feel pain?

Intense feelings of love use the same parts of the brain that pain uses. So preliminary research shows that when you’re feeling madly in love, you are less likely to feel physical pain.

Love takes up where pain leaves off, brain study shows

Maybe this is why a break up hurts so much? Because you’re now feeling pain you haven’t felt in a while?

The study also shows that distraction alleviates pain, too. This is something you can use. Next time you feel pain, enumerate sports that don’t use balls — or think of your favorite food, or your happy place.

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Love and Respect

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone, usually a woman (but it happens to men, too), say she wasn’t feeling loved by her significant other, I’d be a very wealthy woman. And I think she’s often confusing love with respect.

Love is a feeling. It is literally a cord running between your heart and your partner’s, with energy flowing both ways. This is why many people, when they describe love, describe it as a warm feeling in their heart. They are literally feeling that flow of non-physical energy. Love is something that just exists. You can feel it, or not, but it is still there. You are made of the stuff of the universe, which in some sense, is love. So being loved, living in love is your birthright. You are loved by the universe simply because you exist.

Respect, on the other hand, is something you earn. You earn it through your actions, or perhaps your words or your choices, because in some sense, they are actions.

So you can be loved without being respected. Think of how you love a pet, especially if the pet pees on the living room rug. You feel the tug in your heart, the love, and you forgive it. Do you respect your pet? Not so much.

You can also be respected without being loved. This is the norm in work situations. You expect to be spoken to respectfully, to have requests made of you, rather than having orders barked at you (even if they’re really orders). You expect that your opinion will be at least requested, if not acted upon, before a major change in something which is in your area of expertise and/or authority. If they don’t respect your work, or your work ethic (showing up late, messing up assignments, etc.), eventually you’re gone. But that warm, fuzzy feeling around your heart? It’s not there, you don’t even expect it to be there.

The problem is that some relationships, like intimate ones with significant others, have to be relationships of both love and respect, in order to work right.

If you are loved, but not respected in an intimate relationship, you’ll end up feeling worse and worse about yourself. When you accept disrespect, rather than standing up to it, especially when it is fed to you as a steady diet, you only have two choices. You can either agree with the other person’s low opinion of you, and think less of yourself; or you can disagree with that opinion, and think less of yourself for not standing up to it. Either way, you feel worse about yourself. (Abusers count on this.)

If you are respected, but not loved, in an intimate relationship, you’ll feel that lack of warmth around your heart, and will know at a deep level that something is missing, even if on the surface, nothing is wrong.

So when a relationship isn’t working, ask yourself: is it the love that’s missing? or the respect?  And is there anything I can do to change that?

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Modern Love – Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear – NYTimes.com

This is clarity, and staying centered, and the knowledge that you can’t fix someone else, in action:

Modern Love – Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear – NYTimes.com

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.

Love and Unity

My friend, Kit, also a talented channel, called the other day to say she’d just had this amazing insight: beyond identity is where the ‘I am’ presence lives.

That makes sense to me. If you let go of your identity as, say, a woman, wife, mother, American, hypnotherapist, even of past life identities here and/or on other planets, what’s left? Pure existence.

Many years ago, my guides showed me a vision of the heart chakra as a sort of valve. If you turn a person inside out, kind of like you would a sock, at the heart chakra, you get the universe, or oneness, or God, or the ‘I am’ presence, or whatever you want to call it. And that’s how we’re all connected, how we’re all one — when you turn each of us inside out at the heart chakra, you end up in the same place!

I explained this to Kit, who then asked me, ‘Well, then, what is love? How is this different from love?’ And this was the answer from m guides:

Love is sort of the opposite of the experience of God. To experience oneness, you go out through you heart chakra to All That Is. To love, you bring the universe’s energy through your heart chakra into the physical world. Often, but not always, you direct love to someone or something, but that’s not actually necessary.

Hollis Polk is a personal coach (www.888-4-hollis.com), who has been helping people create lives they love for 15 years, using neurolinguistic & hypnotherapy techniques, decision science, clairvoyance & the common sense learned in 20+ years of business. She is an NLP Master Practitioner, hypnotherapist & has a BSE in engineering from Princeton & a Harvard MBA. She is also a successful real estate broker, investor & business owner.